I've wondered the same thing, mainly about the alcohol abuse. My parents are HEAVY drinkers. Their way of getting around it?? SAY they are not drunk. There were countless incidences (seriously, at least once per week my entire childhood) where they'd stumble or just get more giggly than sober. (Now that I've been drinking alcohol for 11 years, I know the difference between having a drink and being wasted...so looking back, I was right!) I didn't want to get my driver's license when I was 15, but they forced me to take the classes. The day I had my permit, I had to drive everywhere. Within that week, we would go to a family friends' house about 45 minutes away. We'd go 2-3 times per month at least. Mind you, we lived in the middle of the woods, and drove country highways through the woods with many wildlife encounters. I would have to drive home at 3am, my brother and sister were passed out from exhuastion, and my parents were passed out drooling from being so drunk. I kid you not, they would just say they weren't drunk, and that was good enough, even for the C.O. or D.O. (they all stayed with us when visiting, for as long as I could remember, so they saw this as well.) My dad was a VERY influential elder, my grandpa was the P.O. Funny how things work. So many people saw my parents for what they were, yet no one has the gall to confront them or anyone else. It's just sick. There are so many double standards in that cult!
Stubborn Disbeliever
JoinedPosts by Stubborn Disbeliever
-
33
Why Does The Watchtower Dis-fellowshiping For Smoking and Not Gluttony and Alcoholism?
by ÁrbolesdeArabia inhealth care studies are showing obese body weight index is worse than smoking "death sticks", so how is the tower going to address their growing problem of overweight elders and elderettes?
if a organization is able to disfellowship a member for smoking, why not do the same with other vices and crutches their people use to hide stress, emotional disorders and depression?
employers are asking for a bmi test a their potential employees to create a diet to get healthy.
-
-
-
30
New here, well, sort of...
by L3G inbeen lurking here for years but finally decided to come out, at least partially.
of all things, the post of 'bats in the belfry' re: the supposed break up of gb member geoffrey jackson and his cute (ex-?
) fiancee a few days ago spurred me to do so.
-
-
Stubborn Disbeliever
Welcome L3G! I'm new as of this week, but this is just a great site to be able to be honest! A nice change :)
-
17
When Tragedy Strikes..............Someone Else
by BizzyBee ini found this article to be spot on - common sense that isn't always common:.
how not to say the wrong thing .
it works in all kinds of crises medical, legal, even existential.
-
-
Stubborn Disbeliever
Well I've been in this boat now the past couple of months. I'm glad I found this post a while back since I was baffled on how to act towards my friend. Her mom and dad both have terminal cancer, she is 8 1/2 months pregnant, and has a 17 month old daughter already. They are from another state and have no family here or nearby. Her mom has had cancer twice before, got breast cancer again a few months ago and then got sick last week and found out she also has liver cancer. Yesterday she decided it would be the last of her treatment and died this morning. I took the advice of many here and just let her know I am here whenever she needs me. She would vent quickly, but that was about it. I have been watching her daughter multiple times per week when she's in and out of the hospital with pre-term labor, so they say I have helped more than words can say. It's still hard to let your offers be known and then step aside. I am the in-your-face kind of person, I love to help and do everything for everyone (I'm a Cancer, for those who follow horoscopes lol), so it's strange to not be smothering them right now! But I just wanted to say that it does seem the best way to help is to offer whatever help you're willing to give, whether meals or babysitting or cleaning, and then let them be. They don't want to be reminded constantly of what's happening, it's already on their mind. So thanks for the advice, even though I didn't make this post, it was so helpful!
-
166
i think i found a church
by unstopableravens ini really enjoyed church today, i have been visting serevel in the last few weeks, all the ones i have been to have been okay, but no more, but today i felt comfortable with everything i seen.
it seemed very doctrinally sound, christ centered and the big bonus i did not hear a word about money!
they did not pass a plate(i dont know if they do but today there was none).
-
-
Stubborn Disbeliever
I think church is about the socialization. It's nice to have friends. Although I've never found and "friends" at any church. I did practice Wicca for a few years and LOVED it, but, like Christianity, has so many different belief paths, it's hard to find ONE group that agrees. I'm not an "alone" kind of person, but I loved the feeling of giving back, and it didn't require a donation of cash. lol
I hope you can find some comfort in your church. Personally, I'm not sure how anyone can be part of a religion anymore, not after my JW upbringing and past while being involved with the Mormons. ha
-
9
Reflecting on my JW life
by Gojira_101 insorry i have been m.i.a lately...life got very busy for me.. this morning i woke up at 5:30 and couldn't get back to sleep because i was having many thoughts running through my head.
my grandma shunning me, what it was like for me as a jw and i remembered something that i thought i would share.
guess i'm needing some group therapy today :).
-
-
Stubborn Disbeliever
Honey, you were a regular pioneer for HOW long?? You were in it DEEP. I still get those thoughts once in a while, I think it's the brainwashing and conflict of what you REALLY know. I get sick to my stomach when i think about it. It's actually the ONLY brainwashing I've had. But really, you are doing great. Think of the weight that has been lifted off your shoulders since you left and unloaded all those feelings. Think of the joy in your life now. You will be rewarded for your act of being honest withyourself. You are not hurting anyone, you are not hurting yourself. You are a wonderful, kind, loving woman who should focus on seeing that part when those horrible brainwashings come leaking out. I love you sis
-
18
Are born-ins or are converts most likely to leave?
by Julia Orwell inmaybe born-ins are, because we converts made the choice whereas the born-ins did not.
or are the converts more likely to because of thought patterns developed outside the cult?
i'd like to know what you think..
-
-
Stubborn Disbeliever
I was a 5th generation born-in. It never clicked with me, so I was never "hooked" or "in" the cult to begin with. I did have a little of the brainwashing in the way of "you'll die and never be resurrected in Paradise" because I never truly followed or believed.
But I also was a convert to Mormonism. I was strong and steady for 6 months (that's a long time for me) then had a slip-up when my sister came into the picture for 3 days. I went back to it, slipped up again when my sister came back around for a week, then went back, and slipped up again when my sister came around the last time (this time for 2 weeks!), now she's out of the picture, i went back for a little, and just couldn't stand the control. I hadn't had coffee or tea in over a year, each slip up with with cigarettes (I've been smoking since 12 years old) and the last two with cigarettes and alcohol. I went back for a bit, my husband converted and then we saw true colors of those people as well...no one would get close to us.
The same happened with the JWs when I was reinstated, in a different state and with complete strangers, no one would come near us. People would start to talk to us, find out my husband wasn't interested in studying, and then run as fast as possible from me. With the Mormons, they clung to us in a way (only IN church though), and really made us feel welcome. Then, as soon as he was baptized, it was over. So we are both compeltely done with organized religion.
I don't know that it really makes much difference if you are born-in or a convert. Yes, you have the past ways of life with your conversion, and you have the guilty to stay if you're born in. Either way, it's not pretty lol.
-
38
Newbie
by Stubborn Disbeliever ini'm new here, so i thought i'd start with an introduction and summary of my life, for the most part.
i have a tendancy to ramble ridiculously, so bear with me :) and this will be all over the place as thoughts take over the keyboard.. i was born a 5th generation jw.
i never really "felt" it, but was book smart about it.
-
-
Stubborn Disbeliever
I'm all sentimental and about to cry....then Captain Obvious posts. I am busting up laughing, thank you!
-
38
Newbie
by Stubborn Disbeliever ini'm new here, so i thought i'd start with an introduction and summary of my life, for the most part.
i have a tendancy to ramble ridiculously, so bear with me :) and this will be all over the place as thoughts take over the keyboard.. i was born a 5th generation jw.
i never really "felt" it, but was book smart about it.
-
-
Stubborn Disbeliever
Wow! I'm overwhelmed by all the welcomes! Thank you all SO much! Yes, I'm very fortunate to have a few around me that have helped. They have always been dear to my heart. I didn't know why we lost contact until 3 years ago, and it all made sense. But now I have them again and see how true friends are family. I can't wait to get a little more time on here to join in on the conversations! It's great to meet all of you and to hopefully get to know more of you a little better. Such a wonderful thing, this site. It all makes sense why JW never "clicked" in my heart or my head.
-
38
Newbie
by Stubborn Disbeliever ini'm new here, so i thought i'd start with an introduction and summary of my life, for the most part.
i have a tendancy to ramble ridiculously, so bear with me :) and this will be all over the place as thoughts take over the keyboard.. i was born a 5th generation jw.
i never really "felt" it, but was book smart about it.
-
-
Stubborn Disbeliever
Wow! I went to take a nap to ease the migraine and, wow! Thank you all. I really appreciate all of your kind words. I definitely didn't put in most things, but jsut the biggest ones that stuck out to me right now. Thankfully I have my bff back and "mom" and "dad" who lead me here. I was hesitant about joining at first because I was sure my JW past was fine since I had no JW connections, but after visiting the site almost daily for just over a month, I knew I had to join. I was finally approved today after a long wait. Guess I didn't realize how good (in a sadistic way ha) it would feel to get it all out. Oh, and the $600 on booze was normal. They always made trips to the city to stock up, plus they had trips in the little town by us that they'd buy from AND their home made beer and wine. The amount of alcohol even makes MY liver shake in fear...and I have only a small percentage of their tolerance!
But, again, thank you all so much for that welcome and the kind words.
-
27
Watchtower says:You can be Disfellowshiped for being FAT!!!!!
by Witness 007 inwatch 1974 p.167 "by disobediently overindulging in food and making a glutton of himself, he fails to show love for jehovah...is food a big thing in his life?
in the presence of others does he selfishly ignore their needs and take far more than his fair share?
is he grossly overweight?
-
-
Stubborn Disbeliever
My family is all still active (well, you know what I mean) with the JWs..and they're all fat. Always have been..."it's genetic" my grandparents would say lol. But if my family doesn't get df'd for severly over drinking, then they won't be df'd for being fat.